Different precpectives

Different perspectives

       Although my intuition leads me to believe that there is, ultimately, only one reality -- infinite and eternal -- experience leads me to believe that there are as many views or perspectives of that reality as there are conscious creatures. It's the same principle with everything - each situation, event, conversation. We give different meanings, according to our belief systems, and how we are affected by the event. We all have our own realities. Anais Nin said: "We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." Each of us has a different genetic inheritance, different health histories, different cultural backgrounds, different upbringings, unique individual experiences.
 
     We look at situations, events, and interpret what other people say and do, according to our own set of past experiences, culture, faith, values, all of which help us form our beliefs about ourselves, about others, and about the world in general. The meaning we give events, the way we make sense of our world, is based upon our set of core beliefs. On the other hand, social identity is not fixed or permanent, but fluid and changeable. There's a more dynamic process in which social actors interact to construct cultural arrangements. The emphasis, simply, is on the ways which such cultural arrangements can change. After all, culture is generated through social interaction and the exchange of meanings and interpretations.
  
    Seeing different perspectives will help to reduce distressing emotions, help yourself feel more confident, enable yourself to be more understanding and emphatic, and improve communication and relationships.

      As you learn to challenge your unhelpful thoughts and biased perspectives, and see things in a more balanced and realistic way, so you will discover that situations and people can be different to how you usually interpret things, which can lead you to modify your core belief system, and therefore bring about lasting positive change.

Did the happy expressions on both their faces speak volumes about their marriage?!

   

Did the happy expressions on both their faces speak volumes about their marriage?!

 

 

 

     All right, It causes me severe anguish to say this, but it's right. You like it when people listen to you and show genuine interest in what you are saying. You  like it when people listen to you and show genuine interest in what you are saying. You feel loved when people take time to understand your feelings. Acts of service makes you feel loved.  You feel loved when someone helps you with chores.  You appreciate it when someone listens patiently and doesn't interrupt you. You like knowing loved ones are concerned enough to help with my daily tasks. You really enjoy the feeling you get when someone gives you undivided attention. You really enjoy the feeling you get when someone helps you make decisions. You like people look at me when you are talking. You feel loved when a person enthusiastically does some task you have requested.  You need words of encouragement daily. That means you are a human being NOT acts-of-service creature. And, yes, vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love. Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on any person will speak volumes. This is not laziness or broken commitments. Their feelings matter.

Offering a positive view of the family?!

      

Offering a positive view of the family?!

 

Charles Dickens

        If you want to avoid an unpleasant situation just pretend it does not exist. If the others are being negative or cranky, don't hesitate to just go elsewhere. Unfortunately, that may be easier said than done. You are not in the mood for confrontation and there is no law that says you have to face up to people who fill you with dread. Take the easy way out. Stop trying to micromanage every aspect of your life – and other people’s lives as well. Let go and let fate take its course and before you know it you will be flying along. You have nothing to fear from the future. You're apt to be in tune with the pleasant spirit of the people around you. 

        Don't let other people's insecurities or shallow understanding about an issue get in the way of your progress. There's a distinct advantage to the way you approach things. Feel free to exert your will on those who need strong direction. If you're confident about the answer, don't be shy about saying so. If people don't like the way you're leading, they don't need to follow.  Discussing parenting and life stages. is very difficult. You know what?! Sometimes, Charles Dickens quote pops up in my mind, 

"Though home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit answered to, in strongest conjuration." _Charles Dickens (1812-1870).

Sexual Abuse Risk Higher For Children with Autism

 

The world needs all kinds of minds

         Individuals with autism are much more likely to be raped or sexually abused. Children with autism spectrum disorders (ASD) may be disproportionately at risk of experiencing sexual abuse and victimization.  Two main arguments are made with regard to children with autism and risk for sexual abuse. First, some children with autism may be targeted for abuse by sexual offenders who may view them as vulnerable children. Second, when children with autism are sexually abused, they may show this in ways that get ignored or misattributed to autism rather than to possible sexual abuse. Because of these two issues, there need to be reliable methods established for determining whether or not a child on the autism spectrum has been sexually abused.  Children with ASD will have a hard time communicating that they have been sexually abused, since many are non verbal and others have a hard time expressing what they need.

            A parent of a child with developmental disabilities can face challenges regarding their child’s safety in ways that are different from other parents. It is sometimes difficult to sort out signs of sexual abuse from typical autism behaviors, such as repetitive gestures and unusual body postures.  An adult may be at-risk to harm a child.  Parents have to become more familiar with the school’s policies about safety, especially related to providing a safe educational environment for children with disabilities and what you need to know to feel secure about your child’s environment. The prevalence and correlates of abuse among children with autism served in comprehensive community-based mental health settings. Ignorance about their own sexuality makes them twice as likely to be raped and three times as likely as the general population of having unwanted sexual contact. 

           New research shows that early trauma is so damaging that it can disrupt a person’s entire psychology and metabolism. One analysis of 57,000 women found that those who experienced physical or sexual abuse as children were twice as likely to be addicted to food. The statics for children to be sexually abused are: one out of three for girls with 1 out of ten for boys. In most cases of sexual abuse with children, the child usually knows the sexual abuser and trust the sexual abuser–this is how they get away with sexual abuse. The disabled person needs that person to help them.  And, the caregiver can easily prey on the child with ASD telling them if they tell anyone, they will not take care of them. Also, many times when a cognitively disabled child/teen is sexually abused; the abuser will make it clear that this is the only way that they will let the child be their friend. The young girl with ASD in her teens and attractive, due to low self esteem and wanting to be accepted by others—may be an easy target to boys who are out for a good time.  They will be her friend or make her part of their social group—if she has sex with them. Their social skills lack, so these predator may be allowed to abuse them.

          

          Remember!  The world needs all kinds of minds. For instance, Temple Grandin, an autistic woman who overcame the limitations imposed on her by her condition to become an expert in the field of animal husbandry.. She developed an interest in cattle early in life while spending time at her Aunt and Uncle's ranch. She did not speak until age four and had difficulty right through high school, mostly in dealing with people. Her mother was very supportive as were some of her teachers. Temple Grandin, diagnosed with autism as a child, has a unique ability to "think in pictures," which helps her solve problems that neurotypical brains might miss. She makes the case that the world needs people on the autism spectrum: visual thinkers, pattern thinkers, verbal thinkers, and all kinds of smart geeky kids.. She is noted for creating her 'hug box', widely recognized today as a way of relieving stress and her humane design for the treatment of cattle in processing plants, even winning an award from PETA. Today, she is a professor at Colorado State University. 

 

 I hope this information is helpful, and that your children are safe and continue to be safe. 

Navigate your healing journey with confidence!